Truisms of Parenting

1. Your child will be independent as long as it serves their purpose...and helpless otherwise.

2. No matter how quietly you sneak a "treat," they will hear you and come running.

3. Someone will always dislike something about dinner. Yes, even if it's pizza.

4. Someone will need to potty AFTER you have left the house, gotten in the car, loaded the grocery cart...you get the picture.

5. Discipline is funny, until you are the object of it.

6. Their eyes ARE generally bigger than their stomachs.

7. It's never fair.

8. They WILL get dirty, no matter how hard you try to keep them clean, but especially if they are wearing something special or dry clean only.

9. If you leave diapers, wipes or a change of clothes at home...you'll wish you hadn't!

10. If you say, "Don't touch that!"...someone will.

11. Dad is WAY cooler than Mom in pretty much every situation.

12. Whoever thought markers and paints ought to be restricted to paper was obviously a very limited thinker.

13. Sharp things are the objects of GREAT interest.

14. So is fire.

15. They "know" things. And they think they're right, even when presented with indisputable contradictory evidence!