Day 11-A Firm Foundation (part two)

Yesterday I asked, when inevitable failure occurs...what happens then?

I've been married ten years. I would not claim to be an expert. The challenges of two sinful people coming together and living graciously and harmoniously are many. But, I do know what happened when my heart was not full of thankfulness. Instead, filled with ingratitude. I traveled far down the path of resentment. I lived there for a few years. It was a lonely, sad place. All the books on doing better, trying harder, showing love more unselfishly were lost on me. I did not have a road map back, because my compass was faulty. My heart was caught up in what I deserved and did not get, rather than what I had and God's purpose for me in and through it.

Mercifully, God revealed two truths to me through the study of two different books. Books I wish I had read long before. Two books dealing with the heart of the problem, "When Sinners Day I Do" and "2Becoming1." I do not remember every chapter or concept, but from each book I took away one primary and, for me, revolutionary truth.

From the former, I was reminded that I am a sinner too. That would seem obvious. But, in the midst of frustration and conflict and long, tiring days, it's often not. Consider how often Jesus spoke about dealing with our own sin, the log in our own eye, rather than judging those around us for the specks in theirs. The book reminded me that I never come with clean hands. My motivations and thoughts, actions and words are suspect. I will bring some fault to every situation, and I need to be willing to consider that and examine myself, first. Being honest about my own failings not only makes me more humble, where I once was proud, but it makes me more gracious, where I once found only fault.

From the latter, I was reminded that God is perfect. Again, didn't I know this? If God is perfect and does not make mistakes, He is able, and does, join together two imperfect, sinful people who, according to HIS purposes, are perfect for one another. This simple truth delved deep. God does not make mistakes. In Matthews 19 Jesus says, "'So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.' 'Why then,' they asked, 'did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?' Jesus replied, 'Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.'" Because your hearts were hard. But that is not what God intended.

Because of the fall, marriage is not ever easy. It gets hard, still. But my dependence is not on my husband, it is on the Lord. I know that for those He joins together, He purposes good through it. Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Marriage is about grace. Sacrificial love. Becoming more Christ-like. The perfection of my character. It is not about what my husband does or does not do for me. It is about what God is doing in me. Because God is sovereign, I can trust that HE brought my husband into my life, flaws and all, for a purpose beyond my understanding...but also for good beyond my imagining. I can be thankful for him, as is, the gift God knows I really need.

The ring I placed on his finger ten years ago was a dull, brushed gold. All the wear of the years, the nicks, the scratches, the hardness of life against soft metal, should have taken it's toll. I look at it now. It shines brightly. Polished. More beautiful than the day it was made and given. The only recognizable resemblance is the etched cross on it's surface. Christ, the firm foundation. Christ, grace for me a sinner. Grace to perfect that which is flawed. Grace which inspires a heart of thankfulness. The way back.


251) the sight of my son sweetly holding and rocking his little sister
252) the older son patiently reading a child's book to her
253) the fun of dressing up and pretending, today, robots and pirates
254) the opposing swirls of hair on the back of my baby's head
255) the cowlick that rises into Mohawk tuft
256) the sun breaking out from behind the rain clouds to illumine the day
257) the chirping birdsong
258) the hopping birds searching for their morning meal among the grasses
259) the swift bird-flight soaring and arcing through the trees
260) the still-wet pavement glistening under the sunshine
262) the inspiring video of a hard-run race, falling does not prevent a strong finish
263) the much-needed laugh at my son's antics with Lego buildings
264) the kisses that bring comfort to salty, tear-stained cheeks
265) the timely reading of "Prayers for a Small Child"
266) the snapping turtle cloud
267) the word of God, sharper than two-edged sword, useful for teaching, correcting, rebuking, encouraging, revealing truth
268) the sprawling, open fields
269) the grazing cows
270) the red-leaf fringed bushes about our front porch
271) the sound of my daughter singing "Amazing Grace"
272) the evening-time when the cratered, half moon and low, glowing sun share the sky
273) the many climbing trees edging our property
274) the gnarled, old tree outside our door, still standing
275) the shoes, thoughtfully cleaned by my husband