Day 8- The Mean Girl

I'm learning that I need to fully, FULLY appreciate the people in my life and all that having them in my life brings. It's hard and convicting. I'm still thinking about Philippians 4 and how to practice grateful living, giving thanks in and for all things.

Verse 5 has continued to stick with me, "Let your gentleness be evident to all." And I am realizing something very nasty about myself. I have not been gentle or kind or loving to ALL. One of my coping mechanisms for dealing with daily stress and frustration has been to take my irritation out on our dog. To let her be my outlet, the surrogate receptor of my ingratitude, because I would never unleash the full brunt on my family.

I have not been hurtful to her, but neither have I been very loving or kind. Little things. Seeing her lazing the day away on the hot grate after my long, tiring day with little to no rest. An irritant. So, I make her move. No reason, other than I felt like it. Letting her sit on my husband's lap while we relaxed on the couch? No. He's mine! I've given and shared and poured myself out all day long. I don't want to share any more! So, I deny her, and she curled up on the floor.

I always knew it was selfish and petty, but I justified it. I characterized my actions as quirky or silly...even endearing! How could it NOT be sweet that I want my husband all to myself!? And look, I gave her a blanket to lay on! She's not cold, hungry or alone...just, not cared for.

The longer I pondered this scripture, the more the motivations of my heart were revealed. Hebrews 4: 12-13 says, "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give an account." And in truth, my thoughts and actions have been nothing short of mean-spirited.

I'm not one of those people who will ever feed her from the table or consider her my "fur-baby." I have six babies, who all need my love and attention. They take precedence. However, she does need more than just nourishment and shelter. She needs my fondness and care as well, a valued place in our family and, yes, sometimes a place on my lap.

God's word does not leave room for partiality. I don't get to pick and choose how or to whom I should be apply it. It simply admonishes, "Let your gentleness be evident to all." And the implications are far-reaching. If I am convicted to show more loving-kindness to my pet, how much more willing should I be to demonstrate kindness, gentleness and love to those that, for one reason or another, I find it difficult to get along with or whose opinions or background differ from my own!?

For now, I am finding that through this daily thanks offering, my heart is more full of gratitude than ingratitude and, as a result, I am more likely to pour out fruit of the Spirit, even to her. Hopefully, this fruit will continue to be evident, not only to those in my insular world, but to any and all I meet!

176) the Lord's protection over friends in a potentially dangerous and life-threatening situation
177) the privilege of lifting the needs of others up before the Father
178) the clean refrigerator, a labor of love from my husband
179) the warm, insulated laundry room
180) the fingers that can zip, button and snap
181) the exhaust tails from distant airplanes streaming across the clear sky
182) the bulbs peaking up through winter ground
183) the neighboring tree that just may be a "Whomping" Willow
184) the American flag flying full and majestic
185) the large, freely-given wardrobe
186) the quilt adorning my bed with crimson, blush and pale blue flowers on delicate vines
187) the ridges in my husband's collarbone, empty screw-holes, physical reminders of God's sovereignty in all circumstances
188) the pigtails, bouncing on my daughter's head as she runs
189) the trustworthy recommendations of friends
190) the Crock-pot, slowly and easily cooking our evening meal
191) the child's painted landscape in watercolor
192) the sweet, flavorful aroma of simmering tomato sauce
193) the elation on my son's face when we found his missing Monkey blanket
194) the way my baby reaches his little hands up to touch my face when I'm near
195) the comforting feeling of a warm mug in my hands
196) the slobbery baby-kisses all over my face
197) the sparkling concord grape juice, deep purple and bubbly in my glass
198) the smooth, clean-shaven face of my husband
199) the tall, dark red champagne flutes
200) the slow dance with my dear one, held close and swept up in the music