Day 2-One Day at a Time

Last night, as I thought over my day, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I felt none of the typical weariness and unease, none of the familiar frustration. It's not that there weren't plenty of those moments which regularly foster stress and discontent...it was still a gloomy day in which I cleaned up more accidents, did more dishes, dealt with a recurring headache, parented a cranky toddler, disciplined defiant children, cared for a husband who's not feeling well, refereed persistent bickering and waded through the ever-present MESS. But I actually enjoyed going through this day and purposefully picking out all the things I LIKED about it, the things I would normally take for granted. At the end of the day I felt...peaceful and content.

So, this morning, as I sat in the dark nursing the baby at an hour much earlier than I would have preferred, tired from a restless night's sleep and head still drumming with lingering aches, I asked myself, what am I thankful for about this moment?

I don't want to be so clinical about the process. It's not that I lack the personal determination. As a youngster, that was always a strong suit of mine. I have just found, over the years since becoming a wife and mother, that I often "determine" to submit things I would like to do to the priority of caring for my family. So some of those things that would have required lots of time and practice and perseverance have not yet come to be. I have not learned to crochet. I have not dug my paints out of their dusty art box. I did not refresh my memory of Russian or Sign Language. I have not become a good runner again, able to hold my own with my sisters. I have not completed the baby's handmade Christmas stocking...

If I am honest with myself, I fear if I am anything less than purposeful, this "list" will go the way of a whim as it succumbs to the busyness of my life...and to my inherently sinful and ungrateful nature. I know that if I truly want thankfulness to become habitual, I MUST be purposeful about it. I wonder if I am doing this on my strength alone, for in that I would surely fail. Is there danger of this becoming more about me than about finding daily joy in the Lord? I know my own heart too well. Can I therefore ask God to help me fulfill my duties well AND be thankful about and in them, even through the making of a simple list of blessings, NOT so that I may be gratified in my accomplishment but so that HE may be more glorified? Yes.

I sit propped up on pillows, the moonlight still peeping in from around our bedroom curtain, my husband tossing fitfully next to me, the neon numbers on the clock by my elbow slowly, slowly moving forward, my head pounding, pounding, and I stroke my sweet baby's head and snuggle him close. One day at a time. I can only take it one day at a time...

26) the little eyelids, closed in perfect contentment, as he draws out his morning milk
27) the convenience and immediacy of a medical consultation, only a phone call away
28) the scent I breathe deeply from the crook of my husband's neck as he hugs me good-bye
29) the sleepy cry my baby makes so that I know he is tired
30) the feel of warm, clean clothes on my face and arms, fresh from the dryer
31) the pleasure of making my husband a cup of hot chocolate to brighten his morning and coax his droopy eyes awake
32) the gladness that comes from offering encouragement to another and finding that it was timely
33) the white ruffles of peppermint whipped cream perched over my mug like a cloud, right before it melts into froth
34) the cool mountain air in the morning, brisk and invigorating
35) the humorous guttural hacking noise my son made when trying to "oink" like a piglet
36) the way his "moo" still sounds like "maaaaaawwwww"
37) the sound of my daughter's energetic humming of the epic Lord of the Rings' inspiring score
38) the sight of my daughter toddling around like a sumo wrestler in miniature
39) the good report of healing from the doctor
40) the subtle note of Black Cherry wafting from my fragrant tea
41) the sound of my daughter singing a hymn from Sunday's worship service
42) the steady formation of crisply-folded and neatly-ordered piles of clothes on the back of my couch
43) the soothing lilac hue of the walls in my daughters' room
44) the image in my rear-view mirror of my son folding paper into the form of an airplane and, in his little hands, taking it on a path of flight
45) the delighted giggles of my baby as he is being entertained by his older brother
46) the exuberance of my boys as they see something smashed
47) the huge grin on my daughter's face as she dances around in the little purple tutu hiked up past her waist
48) the unprompted "thank you" from my daughter's lips
49) the cheeks of my children, glowing pink, flushed with exertion and cold air and happiness
50) the Quiche, steaming and crusted over golden brown, for dinner